“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.”

Lately I have taken a bit of a break from blogging. There isn't really a particular reason for this, but it has given me a bit of time to reflect on a few things:

Due to recent events, I have realised that there are very few people I can trust in this lonely world. And in order to find out who these people are, I have distanced myself from quite a few friends and family to give me time to think. I have found out that some people are not who I thought they were, and are very deceiving and sly. Being nearly 21, I have grown out of such childish behaviours and my time will from now on be spent with the people who make an effort with me - not the people who I have to make an effort with in order to receive any sort of communication with. I will also be very careful what I say to who, as the town I live in is very small, gossip is spread and twisted in ways I never thought was possible.

I was watching 90210 the other week, and felt extremely sorry for Ivy and Raj. I know anyone reading this would think 'how pathetic, writing about a pretend tv series'. But Raj has cancer, and lied to his wife telling her he didn't want to be with her anymore, but in reality he didn't want to tell her that he was dying, and didn't want to hurt her. Someone I know very young, passed away last week due to this horrible illness, and it has made me realise that no matter that no matter the type of person (and it never seems to be the bad people), that cancer is not fussy who's life it takes over. My Nan for example was the nicest, sweetest woman ever, and cancer took over her life, making her into an unrecognizable woman. Now, call me cynical, but if there was a God in this world, horrible illnesses like this would not exist. And because of this I believe that there is no such thing.

I went out at the weekend and lost my entire wallet. It's not until this happened that I realise how much I need certain things in my life: a driving liscence and a bank card included. I searched everywhere, but to no avail. I cancelled my card and ordered myself a new liscence, but I can't help but think if I wasn't so irresponsible (and after a few lectures from certain family members), that this wouldn't have happened. I got given the night off work to be able to go out and if I was working I know that this wouldn't have happened. When will I learn that alcohol does bad things to me, and I need to learn to be more responsible!

Probably won't happen, but I'd like to think it will. Someday.