You Don't Choose Your Family. They Are Simply God's Gift To You. As You Are To Them.

The next event I significantly remember is one that changed my life forever.

I was 16 years old. And in the middle of my GCSE exams. Being too lazy to set an alarm to get up for school, my Dad would come up in the morning and wake me up at 7.45 before he went to work. Then one morning, he came upstairs and woke me up, and said, 'I'm not coming home tonight, I will see you soon'... and then left. I thought this was odd in itself, as my Dad never spent a night away from home unless he was working. But he wasn't away working. He was leaving.

I went to school as normal. and pretended like nothing had happened, as to be honest I didn't really understand what was going on. It was only when I got home and saw my Mum crying that it actually sunk in. What I was told this morning was actually happening. It wasn't just a dream as I'd hoped. She had a piece of paper in her hands which I took off of her and read through. What I read was something I wished that I would have never had to read, ever. My Dad had left. Not just my Mum, but me and Meg too. Being the eldest I did whatever any eldest child would do; I hid my feelings, and became the grown up of the family. Meg was only 12, so didn't really understand properly what was going on, but I did the best I could to protect her from the truth, as an older sister would. So that she wouldn't hurt the way that I was.

For the next few months whilst everyone was taking in the news, I became the rock of the family. Whenever Mum needed a shoulder to cry on, I was there. Whenever Meg asked me where Dad was, or when he was coming home, I was there to explain. I cooked meals, that no one ate, I tried to ask questions, that no one answered. I stopped eating, I became skeletal. I didn't have any appetite for months. Just the thought that my perfect family had been ripped from underneath me and it no longer existed was enough to make me sick. What happened to my perfect life? What happened to my perfect childhood? In my eyes it no longer existed.

I ate so little that all my clothes soon began to hang off me. I was merely a frame of my former self, surviving on as little food as possible so I could carry on with my everyday life. But it semeed to me that this was the only thing I had control of in my life at this present time, my eating habits. My family had been torn apart, my Nan was no longer around, everything in my life seemed to have shattered around me and there was nothing I had control of anymore.

My attitude changed completely. Instead of being the nice, good gestured girl at school, I was now full of venom, and hate, and I seemed to get in trouble with all of the teachers. Which they could see was not like me. When asked about it, I simply told them it was none of their business and went about my everyday life. Why was it their problem? Why should they be probing in my personal life? Right now I only had one concern and that was to care for what was left of my family.

At the time I had so many emotions running through my mind. Not just how my Dad could leave my Mum, but how he could walk away from me and Megan. How dare he. I was so angry, not because he walked away from me - I would cope with that in time -  but because he left my 12 year old sister without a Dad to come home to at night, for her to come home to a family that existed in body but not in spirit since being broken apart.

It took me a very long time to forgive my Dad. A very long time. There is the odd time where I do wonder what my life would be like now if they were still together. But then I know that I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. Both my Mum and my Dad have new partners. And seem really happy. It's weird to think that my family has grown twice the size since this has happened, but I can see now it was the best thing to do. I couldn't even imagine them being together now because of the different people that they have become. They are both happy, and me and Meg have grown to learn to be happy for both of them. After all, we get 2 bedrooms, 2 christmasses, 2 birthdays... Whats not to like out of that?